What I Want
by Izzy0.o
Summary: Since breaking up with Haruhi, Tamaki hasn't been sure of what he wants to do now or what he wants to do next. Can Kyoya help him out? KyoyaXTamaki AKA Yaoi, so don't like don't read! Reviews, comments and criticism will be much appreciated.


A/N: Hi guys! This is my first ever fan fiction, I worked really hard on it, so I hope you like it :) Reviews and comments will be very much appreciated, but please try and be nice if you're leaving criticism; I'm grateful for your suggestions for improvements but please remember I have feelings :3

If you didn't read it in the summary, this is Kyoya x Tamaki AKA boy x boy/yaoi, so don't like don't read!

Enjoy!~

Izzy0.o

**Disclaimer: Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori, not me. Unfortunately :(**

What I Want

It didn't take long for Tamaki to realise that his father-daughter façade with Haruhi was how he felt about her. Within a few weeks into their relationship he realised that he couldn't bring himself to do the things he'd seen romantic couples do with Haruhi; in fact, he shuddered at the very thought of touching or kissing her in that way. After a long talk they had agreed that it would've been for the best if they just remained friends.

Yet Tamaki still felt like something wasn't right; he was a host after all, and he could still sense feelings of more than friendship were amongst the host club. The twin's love was just an act - at least, he thought it was – so it probably wasn't them. Honey was too innocent, and nobody could ever tell what Mori was thinking, so they were both out too. Haruhi had told him when they split up that she just wanted to focus on her studies, so that crossed her off the list too. That left him, and Kyoya.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Tamaki looked up at the Shadow King, who like usual was scribbling in his black book and tapping calculations and equations into his calculator. '_Kyoya?'_ Tamaki knew Kyoya did harbour emotions – and he absolutely hated it when people thought otherwise or just ignored them – but he couldn't see how his friend could have time to have romantic feelings or a relationship what with the near constant pressure of managing the club's budget, keeping his grades up and pleasing his father. He felt a familiar wave of guilt; he didn't have to do hardly anything to be the heir to the Suoh family's company, and he didn't even want to be. Even though he didn't want his father's company either, Kyoya still had to work his brain to a frazzle to keep his father satisfied. '_There was no way Kyoya really had time for any relationship, romantic or not,'_ Tamaki thought sadly. Just recently they had been a little distant. Whether that was because of the recent flurry of exams, family issues or other reasons he didn't know. He made a mental note to try and arrange to spend some time with his best friend.

After an uneventful day of hosting, the club members were packing up and getting ready to leave. Tamaki folded his suit jacket - the day's theme had been an English garden party - over a chair and approached Kyoya who was on his laptop. Taking a deep breath, Tamaki smiled and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Say, mommy dear?"

Almost immediately Kyoya stiffened, and he closed his laptop and turned to the host king with a sigh. "What is it Tamaki?"

"What do you do in your spare time?"

The Shadow King sighed again. "You know what I do. I'm not going to impress my father sitting around and doing nothing."

"I thought you didn't want his company?"

"I don't, but having his support is still important to me."

Tamaki smiled more. "So you don't go out with friends or anything?"

Kyoya gave a small smirk. "I do, when I'm dragged out of bed by them against my will."

Tamaki laughed, hugging his friend. Kyoya just smiled slightly and patted him awkwardly on the arm. "See you tomorrow Kyoya!" he called out as he left the music room.

Kyoya shook his head and smiled to himself as he watched his friend leave. He may have been a complete idiot, but that was what Kyoya loved about him. He felt like he could be himself around Tamaki. Obviously he never was - he was the Shadow King after all - but it was still reassuring to know that if he were to be he would be accepted.

Tamaki sat silently in his limo on the way home, gazing out of the window. _'Kyoya doesn't seem to like anyone'_, he thought, _'but I still can't shake the feeling.' _He pondered for a moment then pulled out his mobile phone.

_**Do you want to stay over tonight?**_

_**What time?**_

_**Seven-ish?**_

_**Okay, see you then.**_

_**See you.**_

Kyoya arrived at seven o'clock on the dot. Tamaki rolled his eyes and smiled to himself as his friend got out of the limo. He was always so serious; did he not know how to loosen up and relax?

"Hello," Kyoya said as he nodded to the maid who held the front door open for him, "what's wrong?"

Tamaki frowned. "What?"

"Well, most of the times when you want to see me it's either you've spent a ridiculous amount of money for you want to discuss some insane new plans for the club."

The frown on Tamaki's face deepened as he blushed. "I only wanted to spend some time with you Kyoya; we've been a little distant recently…" he said quietly, staring at his slippers before glancing up at his friend. Kyoya's expression softened slightly. No matter what mood he was in, he could never bring himself to intentionally hurt his best friend.

"I'm sorry…" he muttered, a faint blush appearing on his pale cheeks. The two stood there for a few minutes in an awkward silence.

"So… do you wanna go upstairs? I got a horror movie from this place called a library that commoners go to. It's like you can borrow the movies for a week and only pay a couple of yen! Weird huh?" Tamaki grinned, obviously fascinated by the concept of a library.

Kyoya smiled, the awkwardness disappearing as he followed his friend to his room. It had always amused him when Tamaki went off on one of his excited outbursts about the commoner lifestyle.

Kyoya sat down on the sofa as he watched Tamaki switch off the lights and slot the DVD into the player, before flopping down next to him. The menu screen flashed up, bloody screenshots and scenes of the movie illuminating the dark room with a red hue.

"Are you sure you want to watch this Tamaki? It looks a little gory…" Kyoya asked, turning to look at the blonde. He knew how squeamish horror movies made Tamaki sometimes. The host king was watching the clips with wide-eyes and a slightly sick expression, but he nodded and smiled nervously. When the two were together they always did things Tamaki wanted to do, and he wanted to do something Kyoya would like for a change, no matter how disturbed or uncomfortable it made him.

They watched the first 20 minutes of the film in silence. It was a rather old film; Kyoya could tell by the effects and he'd seen clips of it before, but it had a decent plot so he watched it anyway.

He watched Tamaki too. The blonde's expressions amused him; how he leaned forward when the characters spoke closely, jumping at the sudden noises and sounds, how he covered his eyes and curled up whenever something frightened him. A particularly gruesome art that even made Kyoya flinch caused Tamaki to let out a squeak and clutch Kyoya's arm and bury his face in his shoulder. Kyoya flushed pink and looked down at his friend in shock.

"T-Tamaki!" said in surprise, desperately trying to regain control over his emotions and hide his embarrassment.

"Sorry, I'll try not to next time…" the blonde said, loosening his grip on his friend's arm and sitting up.

"N-no, it's fine…" Kyoya stammered, cheeks still flushed pink as he turned away from Tamaki. _It's a good thing it's dark in here_, he thought, _I wouldn't want to be seen like this. But at the same time, it's also kind of unnerving. _

Kyoya shifted in in his seat uncomfortably, trying to concentrate on the film. However, no matter how hard he tried, his mind always ended up wandering to the teen still curled up next to him. He would never admit it – he could only imagine how his father would react – but he had always secretly been attracted to his best friend. His happy-go-lucky personality, his fascination with the commoner world, his beautiful violet eyes that could be alive with excitement one moment and thoughtful the next all made Tamaki even more of a lovable idiot than he already was. Everyone thought he was the complete opposite; to most people he was the emotionless Shadow King, and Kyoya liked to keep up that appearance, but deep down, he knew it wasn't true. He always felt a surge of jealousy whenever Tamaki was hosting, even though the king host king never truly meant everything he said, or when he was doting over Haruhi. Although he did consider her a friend, he'd always been a little pissed off ever since she'd turned up and mixed up the club. Before her, he and Tamaki had been a lot closer. Now she almost always seemed to be getting in the way. And although the y were no longer together – Kyoya felt he could have jumped for joy when they told the other hosts they'd broken up – it still made him green with envy whenever Tamaki was around her or talking about her.

Tamaki had been watching the film quietly for a while, and had actually begun to doze off a little. He sighed, curling up further to Kyoya, using his arm as a cushion and absent-mindedly placing a hand on his leg. Kyoya inhaled sharply and flushed bright red again, as he discretely moved a cushion to cover the bulge that was slowly growing in his pants.

"Tamaki…" Kyoya began.

"Hmm?" the blonde looked up at the raven, and for the umpteenth time, Kyoya struggled to not get lost in those sparkling violet eyes he had long ago come to love.

"I um… Well I-…" he didn't know what to say. The situation was making him feel incredibly awkward. He cursed himself silently. He hardly ever let his emotions take over; why did it have to happen now of all times? Instead of telling Tamaki what was really on his mind, he asked him something that had been nagging at the back of his mind.

"Just why did you break up with Haruhi?" They had said why when they told the other hosts of their split, but Kyoya had never fully processed it, which was extremely unusual for him. Tamaki gave him a puzzled look, surprised by the random question.

"It wasn't what I wanted," Tamaki said sighing. "I mean, well… All the things you see romantic couples doing, like – you know, kissing and stuff. I couldn't bring myself to do that with her. I-I realised that I do actually love her in a fatherly way. She was fine with it; she said she wanted to focus in schoolwork and a romantic relationship wasn't her first priority. I think she's been talking to that Arai guy from Karuizawa. I think she's planning on visiting him in the summer. I'm completely okay with it, but I'm not sure how the twins will react…" Tamaki said, smiling slightly at the thought.

Kyoya had stopped listening after Tamaki started talking about Arai. He went over in his head what he'd just been told then spoke again.

"So… You don't love Haruhi?"

"No, well, not in a romantic way." The blonde smiled again.

"You… don't love anyone romantically then?"

"…I-I don't know actually. I don't think I do, but I still have this feeling that romance is in the air. It's not you, you're way too busy to have feelings or be with anyone, so I think it's me," Tamaki said, frowning slightly.

Kyoya's breath caught in his throat. _'Well,'_ he thought to himself, _'should I tell him how I feel about him? I may not get another opportunity. And it's not like I have THAT much to lose…'_

He took an internal deep breath, before smiling slyly at the host king.

"Who says I don't have feelings for anyone?" he asked, leaning in slightly and narrowing his eyes at Tamaki. He wanted to tell him how he felt more than anything but he (rather cowardly, he silently admitted to himself) decided to hide behind his Shadow King alias for now. The blonde gave the raven a naïve look, then stuttered nervously, "I-I don't know what you mean."

Kyoya could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He was terrified of doing or something; or even worse, Tamaki rejecting him. But he couldn't stop now.

He shook his head and moved u the sofa so face was just centimetres from his friend's. "Oh I think you do…" he murmured, still smirking. His voice was surprisingly calm; inside he felt like he was going to explode from being so close.

Tamaki's eyes widened as he realised just what the raven-haired teen was implying. "Kyoya…" he whispered, flushing pink and placing hand on his friend's chest. Kyoya weakened at his touch and moved even closer to the host king.

"Yes, what is it?" he whispered back, placing his hands on Tamaki's hips and slowly leaning in.

Tamaki leaned in too, clutching the front of Kyoya's shirt. "I-I-um…" he blushed and went quiet for a moment. Then without thinking he pulled Kyoya towards him and kissed him, hard. Immediately his friend kissed him back, wrapping one arm around Tamaki's waist and running his free hand his soft golden hair. He pulled him closer and gently lowered him so he was lying on his back, before crawling on top of him and kissing him deeper.

A loud scream from the forgotten horror film still playing on the TV made Tamaki jump underneath Kyoya and gasped, giving Kyoya the opportunity to slip his tongue into the boy's mouth. Tamaki giggled into the kiss, both their tongues fighting for dominance, which Kyoya shortly won.

The two lay there for a few minutes , kissing cautiously but passionately and both slightly tense and read to spring apart in case a maid came into the room, although Kyoya had told the servant who had lead them upstairs that they didn't want to be disturbed.

Tamaki broke away, biting Kyoya's bottom lip as he did so and causing the older boy to let out a quiet moan. "My turn," Tamaki whispered, his eyes glazed with lust and his words full of passion. He sat up, grinning as he pushed Kyoya onto his back and straddling him. The raven grinned back playfully, trying to push him off, eventually dropping his arms to his sides and letting Tamaki take over. The blonde entangled his fingers in Kyoya's black locks, tilting his head back and kissing the exposed creamy skin of his neck. The older host shivered, and Tamaki smirked as he gently bit along the vice president's collarbone, searching for a weak spot. When he found it – alerted to its location when the raven let out a rather erotic moan – he bit harder and pressed his body down more against Kyoya.

"Y-you're quite good at this…" Kyoya said between moans and gasps as Tamaki continued to pleasure them both further.

"Well I am daddy after all," Tamaki replied, tenderly licking the marks he made on his friend's pale skin before capturing his lips in another kiss. True, he may be the more mature and serious of the two, Kyoya thought, but when it came to relationships and things of the heart, he was completely clueless. He smiled into the kiss, and wrapped his arms around the blonde. He would let Tamaki play daddy for now, just until he learnt the basics. Which wouldn't take too long, as he felt Tamaki's hands begin to undo Kyoya's jeans and tug at his shirt.

**[[I'll leave this part for your own interpretations ;)]]**

Sometime later – they were unsure whether it had been minutes or hours – the two boys broke apart, exhausted and out of breath. The forgotten film had finished while ago, the room illuminated by the blue-ish light of the DVD player screen, and silent, save for their quick, heavy breathing. Calming down and coming to their senses, they both flushed darkly as it dawned on them what they had just done. But although their faces were red and their eyes couldn't quite meet, both knew that neither of them regretted it.

"… Well that was a new experience," Tamaki said after a while.

Kyoya chuckled and gave him a rare smile, one he saved especially for the idiot blonde. Tamaki smiled shyly back, laying his head down on his best friend turned boyfriend's chest. "'Love you Kyoya."

The raven-haired boy's heart skipped a beat, and lifting the blonde-haired boy's chin and looking directly into those violet eyes, he leaned in and whispered, "I love you too."

And it was hearing those words coming out of Kyoya's mouth, those four simple yet beautiful words, that made Tamaki exactly sure of what he wanted.

**FIN! ~ :D**


End file.
